Do you ever get that creeped out feeling, like you don’t want to look behind you because you are sure that someone is there?? I get that feeling all of the time.  And I mean ALLLLLLLL of the time.

I am a scaredy cat, for want of a better term.

I am a yellow-bellied, boot-shaking, heart racing, illogical crazy person when it comes to being scared.

It has been many years, however I can still taste the fear and remember how it used to course through my veins, during ANY game that involved me being chased around the primary school playground with friends. Although I would giggle, I was completely unable to control the high-pitched screech that would undoubtably steal out of my mouth in fright!

I can also remember the fear that I used to feel walking down our long hallway in my childhood home when it was time to go to bed. I would quickly rush past all of the open doorways which naturally led ONLY to dark terrifying expanses where anything could be lurking (der… like ghosts of course).

I would rush down that hallway and past those rooms with my back almost completely plastered to the wall so I could see anyone or anything that might come at me from any direction. Nothing ever did though. I can only assume it was because I was so vigilant in my back plastering rush to the bedroom each night, that nothing had time.

And I used to sleep with my doona pulled up completely covering my mouth no matter what the weather was like, so if my mouth so happened to uncontrollably fall open mid-snore during the night, that no ghostly presence could climb in and take over my soul. So normal. Everyone does that, right??

I tried to fool myself into thinking that I WASN’T scared by watching stupidly scary movies with my friends.

Smart? Pfft. What a fool!

Because when the movie ended and those friends went home, I was all alone!

I would replay the worst scene’s over and over in my head, and would obsess over them until I couldn’t sleep. Sometimes I would dream about them. And I would defffffinately think about them in the shower the next day.

Even now, after a sneaky midnight wee I will innocently be washing my hands when a little voice in my head whispers “Bloody Maryyyyyyy”. I then hurry through my bathroom visit, refusing completely to look up into the mirror, and rush back to the safety of my bed before the aforementioned Mary reaches out of that mirror and drags me in there with her for an eternity of terror. Likely? Not if I get the hell out of the bathroom before she can get me!

What I THINK I am going to see in my bathroom mirror… most of the time…    Image © Photocreo via Canva.com

Even now, my brain goes rogue and tries to scare the bejesus out of me every time I come home and am the first one there. Bloody hell. I have to check all the rooms and behind all the doors to ensure that no-one is creeping around my house ready to kidnap me and make me their love slave in some dungeon in a corn field somewhere.

And shower time when I am in one of those moods (possibly after accidentally watching CSI the night before, or hearing a ghost story which I LOVE yet hate all at the same time), means that I have to shower with both eyes open and as such can only allow very minimal face-under-shower-with-my-eyes-closed action.

Those particular days I have to contort my body backwards in the attempt to wash my long hair whilst still keeping my eyes open, allowing me to monitor a number of important things:

• All entry and exit points for strangers who may waltz into my bathroom (never happens, and honestly, what would I do if it did?)
• The condensation buildup on the inside of the shower door to ensure that no entity from another world can write me a message (totally possible… hello…have you seen “Ghost?” BOO!)
• And to ensure that the water coming out of my shower head is water not blood. I mean I have seen enough scary movies in my time to know that this particular option is HIGHLY FREAKING PROBABLE.

I like to think it makes me quirky. Actually to be honest I try not to think about it at all, or I will be back-plastering again all over the shop before you know it.

I’m sure it’s a disorder. One that I need to get checked for, and eat a block of chocolate every night to control.

Or maybe I could just stop watching and/or thinking about things that scare me.

Na, don’t be ridiculous. But I had better go and start the chocolate therapy right now just in case….you know, to be safe.

 

 

What are you afraid of (insert scary woooooooooo here…)? Tell me about it below!!