I love babies.

I mean, I have always thought they were lovely and fine and blah blah blah, but now that I have one of my very own I have found that I really REALLY love babies. They are so freaking cute, and all seem to be such squidgy, wriggly, happy little souls.

My little one shoots sunbeams all over the place whenever either myself, my darling husband, or even our family dog looks remotely in his direction…and gawd, does he have an uncanny knack of making us feel special and loved!

There is nothing better than having someone so overjoyed to see you that they almost explode with happiness every time you come near them.

Now, I love talking TO my baby (like every other parent that has ever existed).

Yet I hear myself saying endearing things to not only my baby, but also to the other sweet little babies in my life, and I have noticed that some of the things that fly out of my mouth are actually kind of strange.

And although I can’t stop myself from talking, like, EVER it seems, I do understand that to the untrained ear I may sound a like a bit of a crazy-pants.

So, for my own amusement, I have put together a little list of the weird things I say or have heard said that could quite frankly either be considered sweet parental love, or raging psychopathic cannabalistic stalkery crazy-pants mumbles.

I have listed each statement with a corresponding parent or crazy-pants follow up, again purely for my own amusement and also because my baby is sleeping a little longer today (hooray) which is giving me a major case of the joys.

So sit down, grab the popcorn, and here we go….

Parent or Crazy-Pants? 

1) I could just eat you,

My sweet baby… OR… but I think I need to add salt first.

2) Don’t you just want to squeeze him so hard his head pops off? 

Right, well this straddles both the parent and crazy-pants divide as really, the only way you could answer this is with a resounding YES. Sometimes I actually DO want to squeeze him that exact amount.

3) Mmmm, your hands are delicious (said around hands as they are shoved into my mouth for the thousandth time),

I want to shower them in kisses… OR… they would make a tasty snack. In fact, I have a recipe around here somewhere that would be just perfect… 

4) Grrrr…I want to squeeze you in half, 

Thats how much I love hugging you my sweet munchkin!!!… OR… Me Tarzan. You baby. Me squeeze muchly. You explode. 

 5) Rahhhhh, just look at those delicious cheeks!

You are just so freaking kissable, I could die… OR… If I cook them at 120 degrees for a good two hours, they will be just right… 

6) Look at those gorgeous legs. Oooohhhhh I could just bite them! 

They are just so cute and squeezable… OR… Yes, I will bite them. I will bite them so hard that my teeth touch in the middle. Thats just how hard I want to bite them.  

7) I am never gonna let you go. Never. You’re all mine. 

Meh, just crazy-pants than anything else, and yet every time this little one smiles at us- Boom! Heart bursting! Love Explosion! Crazily weak knee’d! And we are never letting him go. 

Coz he is. All mine, I mean. Well, I should probably say all “ours”…but I don’t want to.

And he grows even more squeezable, loving and joyful with every second that passes. Whilst he is already showing signs of cannibalism (chewing on my fingers, shoulders, chin and cheek with such determined ferocity that I have seriously considered throwing salt on him to detach him), I cannot wait to see what kind of little person he becomes. I hope he remains as kind and sweet a human as he is right now. I also hope he retains the huge amounts of hilarious character that he is showing to us every day.

He is an absolute joy to be around and (pass me the tissues to both vomit and cry into), but I am so thrilled and privileged to know that he is my kidlet, and I am his mummy.

His crazy-pants stalkery mumbles mummy. Sigh, poor thing…

 

 

What crazy-pants comment have you made to your child? I would love to hear about it, so please leave a comment below!