I don’t know about you, but there are some days when I just want a freaking break.
There may not be anything particularly wrong. I might even have been lucky enough to have gotten a full nights sleep the previous night. But some days I just want to stay in bed, pull the covers over my head and to not have to get up for anything or anyone. I just feel a desperate need to be lazy.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love being a mother.
And I found that once I became one, I fell in love with my own life more than I could ever have imagined. I have a beautiful husband, and an incredibly beautiful child (and a pretty beautiful fur-ball puppy), and together they make my life complete.
And the fact that I even HAVE this child – one whom I created with my own freaking BODY (holy freaking moly), is itself mind-blowingly amazing. It’s a tough job being a parent but it’s completely worth every single crazy bit of it.
But some days I just want to switch off. I HAVE to switch off. I need to get through a day without anyone needing me. For my own sanity. And I need it today to be able to get up and be a good mummy and wife tomorrow.
I need to get through a single day without having someone cry in frustration because they want to be in my arms rather than crawling along the floor. And after I give in and pick them up, they instantly change their mind and cry because they just want to be out of my arms and charging around on the floor. I need to not see or hear that. Just for a day.
I need to get through a day without having to pick someone up and put them in their high chair, or wrestle them into the car or the pram. And I need to get through a day without worrying that my little one is going to take a nose dive down the stairs in the two seconds that I need to myself to go to the toilet.
And you know what else?? I want a fucking sleep in.
I need to get through a day without someone asking me “what’s for lunch”, “do we have any cheese”, or “what do you want me to dress him in”?
Because sometimes I just need some blessed silence.
And then I want to sit on the couch and be lazy. I want to have a super long shower without having anywhere to be. I want to just stand still under that glorious shower spray and enjoy the water for five perfect minutes without any interruptions. And I want an additional minute so I an actually shave my freaking legs.
I want to not have to feed anyone else or think about what to have for dinner. Just for a day. I want to leave the dishes in the sink and to ignore the fact that there are loads of washing to be done. I don’t want to have to care.
Instead I want to sit on my butt in my trakkies watching Netflix, whilst eating Nutella directly from the jar. And I want to read a book. I used to love reading books. I used to have time to do it. Sigh.
I also really want a damn massage. I want to go and see a move in Gold Class, put my feet up and stuff my face with Rocky Road Popcorn.
I want to go out for a leisurely coffee with friends and not have to worry about someone snatching a scalding hot drink off the table ninja style and burning the both of us. Or having to move everything with stabbing potential out of arms reach. Everywhere we freaking go. Just for one day.
I want that one day, just one, that’s all mine. A lazy day that’s just for me. So I can recharge my batteries and feel more like a less tired version of myself.
Yes, yes. I totally get that I sound like a child right now- I want I want I want. Yes there are so many things in this life that I want.
But…I also really want a second baby. And a third down the track.
Because even though sometimes I am so god damn tired and over it, I actually love being a mummy. I actually think that its kinda what I’m here for. And, well, even though it’s exhausting, I guess I kinda do love being needed, even if it drives me crazy being needed all of the time.
And I love the idea of having a big family. A family who is mine. Who I can play with. Who I can sing with. Who I can dance with. Who I can laugh with. Who I can joke with. Who I can cuddle and sit with. And who I can just damn well be in love with. I want to watch the beautiful life which my husband and I are creating together unfold.
And I know that although I may be tired and grumpy right now, these kids of mine – present and future, won’t need me for long. Soon I will be longing for the days when they needed me at all. So I will try to hold on to that whilst I get asked another question that I really don’t need to be asked, or while my little one holds his arms up to be picked up when I know he will just want to be put down again straight away. Sigh.
Because I DO want it all.
I want the craziness, the messiness, the neediness, and the overwhelming love that comes with it all. Just… I would also like the odd day off please. So I can occasionally get my hair coloured. So I can be the best mummy that I can possibly be. One with great hair, and hidden grey’s.
Do you get a “mummy-day-off”? What would you do if you had a full day off to yourself?? Leave a comment in the box below, and tell me all about it! xx
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