There is something that I really want to talk to you about. I want to talk to you about the joys of the juggling act that is life. That is, the life of a mother.
As a mother, I live each day in a state of perpetual stress trying to do three million or more things at once.
You know, things like entertaining the children and keeping them alive, making the dinner, finishing a spreadsheet for work, preventing the dog from completely destroying the children’s new toys, keeping the house from looking like a tornado has run through it, and reminding the husband that he is still loved and appreciated, even if he can’t seem to remember to put the toilet seat down. Gawd that’s annoying.
And in doing all of this, in relentlessly planning, organising and coordinating the lives of at least two or more fellow humans other than yourself and in some cases trying to also maintain a professional persona during your working life every day, you find yourself being both physically and mentally drained.
I know I do. Because its bloody hard keeping up the juggling act that is life.
Sometimes as mummies, we juggle so much that we forget why we were juggling those damn balls in the first place.
Around two weeks ago, a dear fellow mummy friend of mine made a comment on Facebook about how she had been juggling so much that she had forgotten to go to a friends BBQ that she had confirmed she would be attending THE DAY BEFORE the event was to take place.
And then, the very next week I forgot to take my 11 month old to his swimming class. Yes, TO HIS REGULAR WEEKLY SWIMMING CLASS THAT WE HAD BEEN GOING TO FOR A GOOD SIX MONTHS! I can’t for the life of me tell you how I forgot this, because it is something that we do every single week. It is at the same time and the same place that it always has been, and yet it completely slipped my mind.
And I know how it happens.
We mothers are so busy trying to remember so many things, and be so many different things to different people that both our minds and our bodies are overloaded with more information than it can healthily take. And when you are under that much continuous stress and pressure, somethings gotta give.
We mistakenly think that we are managing to get through, and that we are juggling those damn balls just high enough in the air, to keep ourselves afloat. But all the while we hide how tired we are. And how exhausted we feel. Because right or wrong, no-one else can seem to do it all the way we can.
We force ourselves to do it all and be it all to everyone else at the cost of ourselves.
And I don’t know about you, but some days I just desperately want to let those balls drop and give myself a rest. Because my arms are aching from holding them up all the damn time.
Some days I just want to yell SCREW DINNER at the sky and just sit on my butt and order pizza. To further clarify, I also don’t want to have to choose what pizza to have or to even dial the number to order it. Some days I don’t want to be the one to make all of the “little” decisions. I am bloody tired and I just need a rest, and I couldn’t care less what colour socks you put on our baby. Don’t care. Just go order a pizza for eff’s sake.
Some days I just want to rest in bed without a deadline to get up and take care of everyone else. I want to lay there until I get so bored that I have to get up. Or I start getting bedsores. Whichever comes first.
Because I have this deep-seated desperate need to be lazy. I want to not have to make a decision for ten minutes. For an hour. A day, even. I want to be alone for just a few minutes to get my head back in the game. To stop it from spinning under the weight of all of the plans and details that I have to remember for those around me. Just some time to breathe.
But I wont get it. And even still, I know that I have to carry on. And I know that I am strong enough to keep going.
Because I am not alone. I am never alone.
And this gives me great comfort, because it’s not just my life.
It’s your life too. It’s your sister’s life. Its your mother’s life. It’s your grandmothers life. It’s the life of every mother that has graced this glorious earth.
Yes, its hard. It’s so god damn hard sometimes that I sometimes I just can’t see how I can get through it. But its something else at the same time. It’s also incredibly rewarding. It’s continuously surprising. Its exhilarating. Its humbling. Its beautiful. Its life.
And I wouldn’t change it for the world. I just may forget whole chunks of it from time to time.
Have you forgotten things because you have so much on your mind? Do you want to shout out to a mother who is trying to do it all?? Leave a comment below, as I would love to hear from you!
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