Ten Things I Have Realised Since Becoming A Parent.

It’s interesting.

I thought I knew everything about myself once upon a time. I may not have liked it all, but I really truly thought that I knew all there was to know about …well, me. I mean, who else could know me the way that I do?

No-one, right?

So I flitted along all-knowing and wise – sure of my actions and reactions. Sure about me.

And then something changed. I became a Parent. It was ME that changed.

And with that change, every single skerrick of information about ANYTHING (for example, who I am as a person, and what I thought this life was meant to be, and what those brown oval things in the fridge that I could make omelettes with called) quickly flew straight out of my brain.

Like, I mean EVERY. SINGLE. THING.

GONE.

But that’s motherhood for you…Wait… What was I talking about again?

Anyway, that emptying of the brain left me more open to discover OTHER things about myself. Things that I would have never realised before becoming a mother.

Things that I never previously thought possible.

Like,

I can survive on less sleep than I ever imagined.

And it wont kill me. And somehow we CAN make it through each day despite how bone wearily exhausted we feel. I mean, something as simple as a butterfly flippity flapping in the sunshine might make me cry in that state because I can’t cope emotionally with anything more intense than a peanut, but it certainly wont kill me.

Side note: I. am. just. so. tired.

I have the potential and the skills to be a full-time stand up comedian.

I find myself coming up with comedic GOLD at just about all hours of the day and night and I wish that others could hear such hilariousness. Oh, and that they would pay me for it. Sigh. My husband is so used to such high levels of joy coming out of my mouth (says I) that he barely even cracks a grin, and my child has taken to waving his hands at me and yelling “STOP mummy STOP” when I crack my usual funny-as-all-hell jokes. But I think he may be confused, and that he is totally digging my jokes and really wants me to keep going.

And you know what? I WILL keep going. And you’re welcome kiddo.

That particular kids shows will have the power to make me so angry that I will want to vomit.

There are some shows (cough cough Yo Gabba Gabba & Lazy Town cough cough) that make me super angry every single time that they come on tv. There is something about them. The orange jump suit on the skinny ass grown man, the horrifically terrible 80’s music, and the terrifying prosthetic faces. Urgh. They are the worst shows ever and make me want to barf.

That particular kids shows will have the power to make me so happy that I will watch them (and enjoy them) even if at home alone. 

Seriously I would love to have a wine (or 400) with Nanny Plum. I love her to pieces, and I couldn’t think of anyone more sarcastically hilarious to spend an evening with. She is a woman (well… a cartoon fairy) after my own heart, and I get such a kick out of watching Ben & Holly every night (ish) because of her. What a hoot.

I could only ever DREAM of having as much sass as she does.

Having kids has made me stronger than I could ever have believed.

Holy Fruitcake, I shock myself at how strong I can manage to be sometimes, both mentally and physically. I mean, some days I have found myself wondering just how the hell I was going to make it through the day. But each time I do. I pull it together, and I get through it all. Because I am a strong – ass mother of a baby and I can do ANYTHING.

My body is an incredible life producing vessel and even the squishy bits are amazing.

Well, this one I know in my heart of hearts, but I still need to work on every day.

Some days I can only see the saggy dimply skin and hate every curve. I wish wish WISH for another body, another shape, another…well, everything!

And yet some days I love every droopy bit of skin that I am in, and spend my day high fiving myself over its power and strength and the fact that I CREATED A HUMAN FOR PETE’S SAKE, I AM FREAKING SUPER WOMAN!

My stretch marks are loving proof of the life I carried in my belly and my loose skin reflects the walls of the home that nourished him so he could grow.

This body may not be perfect. And I may hate the hell out of it sometimes but it is mine and its kind of god damn amazing.

My brain can actually be so busy that sometimes I will lose all ability to think and speak like a coherent adult human.

Sometimes I feel like my brain is being pulled in two (or a million) different directions. And that I am spending big chunks of my days trying to do so many different things, that in the end I actually cannot get a single thing done.

And sometimes because of that I find myself completely unable to take in what is going on around me. For example yesterday a tradie was at our home talking to me about god knows what whilst I was trying to organise his payment and stop my almost 2-year-old from launching himself face first down the stairs, that I have no idea what he actually said. Looking back I actually think he was trying to give me advise on how to manage my money and home loan. Hmmm. Oh well.

Motherhood has made me so aware of the unhealthy nature of some of my self beliefs around body image.

This is something that I know that I need to really look at in-depth down the track. I have lived with such an unhealthy relationship towards my own body for so long that I worry to the point of obsession about how my son will get through life without feeling the way that I do. I desperately don’t want to project any of these negative thoughts on to him, and I desperately don’t want him to look at himself with anything other than pure love.

I am working on it, and I will let you know how we go at some point.

That kids never stop, regardless of how tired I may be.

Yep, these kids are so full of energy that I am sure that if we could somehow re-route his energy into our home that we would be able to power it for years for free.

Its unbelievable. He is up. He is down. He is here. He is there. He is sitting. He is standing. He is climbing. He is jumping off things. He is falling onto things. He does not stop.

Jesus.

That I am an incredible parent. Yes I am.

When all is said and done, I have realised how good a parent I really am. In fact, I am damn incredible.

I only have to look at the smile on his face, see the happiness in his eyes, feel the way that he wraps his arms around me and how tight he hugs me, and I know that I am doing a damn good job with him.

I am a better parent than I ever imagined. I am lucky to have him, and he is lucky to have me.

And this love filled home is more than I could ever have dreamed of creating with my beautiful husband.

 

xxxxxx

 

What have YOU realised since becoming a parent? Leave me a comment below, and tell me all about it! x

By the way… Studies from the University of mummalifelovebaby (MLLBU) show that people who subscribe to the mummalifelovebaby website are more hilarious and attractive than most other people. Since you don’t want to be either weird-looking or as boring as a blade of grass, then you had better sign up now!  

And if you DO sign up now (seriously, do it), then you will receive my free mini ebook – “3 amazing things that you MUST do with chocolate”. YOU LUCKY THING! I mean, HELLO! Chocolate!

xxxxx