Diary of a Crazy Pregnant Lady – Weeks 7 to 12

I am 7 weeks and one day today.

And today I cried for the stupidest reason. 

I cried watching a movie from 1998 when a woman yelled out “Alright ladies, let’s clean HOUSE!” #canyouguesswhatitsfrom

I mean seriously. What the eff is wrong with me? I have been feeling on the verge all day. I have been mopey and whingey. 

But this afternoon? Ridiculous. Snivelling like I’ve cut 6 billion onions in a row.

Yep. I am officially hormonal. 

I didn’t have this with my first child. Nope. I had none of it. Nothing remotely changed, except for my growing stomach. I was incredibly lucky, and didn’t really have any nausea, or fatigue. I wasn’t hormonal and just felt like…well, me! Just a really heavy and full version of me… 

But this time it’s completely different. If I’m not asleep, I’m either dreaming (pardon the pun) of being asleep or counting down the minutes until I can officially go to sleep without being a terrifying creep. I am so exhausted this time around and it shocks me that it’s happening so early.

But… it’s not early. It’s normal. This is how most people feel isn’t it. And I don’t like it.

And here is something you may not know about me. I am terrified of vomiting. Ridiculous I know, but true.

I have an irrational and intense fear of it, and will do whatever I can to NOT throw up. And so feeling any kind of nausea sends me into a mental spin of avoidance and fear. Oh I hate it. And even as I sit here and type this, I am madly trying to concentrate on the non-vomitous part of what I’m doing. I am on the verge of rocking back and forth like a crazy person in my undies outside in the freezing cold to get through it. Because sometimes the cold helps. Sigh. 

Oh Lordy. 

This little baby is the size of a blueberry from head to bum today. OMG, a blueberry! That’s so teeny tiny that it blows my mind! And yet according to the “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” App, its 10,000 times bigger than it was at conception. Oh gawd. And this is why I feel like the life is being zapped out of me. Because it’s being sucked into a very demanding and very tiny blueberry. 

And of course I wouldn’t change this feeling because of what it means my amazing incredible nauseous body is doing, but Holy Oprah I just wish I could feel a little less vomitous about it all. 

We told our families a couple of weekends ago at our sons 2nd birthday party. Yep, can you believe it! He is TWO. My wee man is two. And he threw a massive tanty this morning. Shit’s getting real in my household now. Oh will we cope with a tantrum thrower and a newborn? 

8 weeks now. Oh thank goodness I have hit 8 weeks.

That’s one week less of ever having to feel so crappy! Yussss!

So, I have completely zombied out on my husband. I can barely talk sometimes from feeling yuck. Not reaaaally nauseous, just, well, yuck. And if he tries to touch me in any way I can’t take it! It is almost one touch from tipping me over the edge each time… 

I still don’t quite want to vomit but I am not bloody far off and it feels like my life is being drained out of my body. Ugh, shoot me now. 

And weird things are happening. Like what is going on with chocolate…

My husband threw some chocolate at me last night after dinner. And I threw it back at him like it was poison. I didn’t want it and right now I couldn’t think of anything more disgusting. Those of you who know me know how much I usually love the stuff, but right now it makes me want to vom… 

In fact, I have lost all joy for food. Nothing tastes quite right or makes me feel better. I am eating to keep myself alive and for fuel, but it’s making me feel crappy. Though weirdly I feel crappier if I don’t eat. What a vicious circle to be caught in!! 

Even water – the thing that tastes just like nothing – is a struggle to get down. It feels like food is always sitting in my throat. Ermagawd how am I going to get through this? How does everyone else do it?? 

Ok, take a deep breath. I am 9, almost 10 weeks now.

I had a magical few days there where I thought I was turning a corner. Where I felt ok. Well, let me clarify. I didn’t feel great, but I certainly felt less crap and it was wonderful. 

Nope, I was wrong. It’s back and worse than before! Arrrrggghhh… one more day, just one more. Get through this day and it’s one less I have to get through. Only 30 and a bit weeks to go. Oh help me. That’s such a long time! 

And I irrationally started to worry. Am I sure that I am pregnant? What if I’m not? What if this is all in my mind and its playing stupid jerk tricks on me? I mean I’ve signed all the paperwork for the hospital, I’m going there for my first midwife visit in under 4 weeks and my ultrasound is in two. So I guess my doctor believes I am too… But what if I’m not? I’ll have to wait and see I guess. 

I’m now 10, almost 11 weeks. I think. 

I am still feeling crap, but it’s kind of more manageable than before I guess. My life consists of trying to distract myself from feeling crappy, eating to make myself feel less crappy, lying down to stop feeling crappy, and sleeping to make it allllllll go away just for a few hours lol.

And yet yesterday I dragged myself up and out of the house, and held a friends newborn baby. A little one week old. She was so teeny tiny. She was so sweet. She slept so quietly. I was so in love and it gave me confidence again. And hope. 

It made me excited once more for December. The month we are due. 

Now even though I still feel crappy, I cannot wait to hold our little baby in my arms in 6 months and a couple of weeks time.

I can’t wait to meet you little human.

Do you want to share YOUR amazing Birth Story with the world? Then fill out your details below and I will tell you how YOU can be a part of this very special series too! xxx

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