Ode Of A Tired Mumma
Oh my tired Toddler
May you rest today in peace
And please don’t wee the bed my love
I can’t be arsed changing your sheets.
Yesterday you barely slept at all
And you almost drove me bonkers
And when you threw that bowl at my head
I was THIS CLOSE to flying to Honkers.
Hong Kong that is
A holiday, is what I’m desperately in need of
One without hearing my name on repeat
Or picking up things I need to clean wee off.
My boy, you have the sweetest smile,
And you’re so funny when you sing,
But when you drop your shit all over the floor,
I want to throw out all of your things.
I can’t believe how many cars you own
And all you want to do is crash them
Sometimes you think you ARE a car
So other kids, you want to bash them.
It’s hard for you to understand
That you are not a car too
But honey do cars sit on the toilet and throw tantrums
When it’s time to do a poo?
For that matter why is it so upsetting
When it’s time to go to the toilet?
No you CAN’T eat a cookie amongst your poop smell
Coz that’s so gross, it would freaking spoil it.
The way you sing your favourite song at night
“Thuderstruck”, whilst doing your rudey nudey dance
It always makes us laugh my dear
And weirdly your sister is quite entranced.
She thinks you are the most magical boy
That has ever been invented.
And even though you laugh when she cries
With you she is quite contented.
Now my little lady why are YOU awake?
You should bloody well be sleeping
Until you fall back asleep I’ll be in the pantry
Tim Tams, I’ll be stress eating.
Your smile lights up the room, my little one
And it brings us so much joy
Even though you spew on us and chew on our chins
And make all of that baby-squeely noise.
We can’t believe how much dribble you hold
Or how loud your baby girl farts are
But the way your baby hands cup our cheeks
Full of love, all of our hearts are.
We listen to you babble non stop, our sweet
OMG you have so much to say
We’re nervous when those babbles turn into real words
That we’ll never know quiet again, any day.
Little Angel, please make sure you sleep tonight
My sweet little baby girl
Because it’s hard to get up in the middle of the night
3am just makes me want to hurl.
Yes, if you give us a full nights sleep tonight
And the toddler gets in the bath without complaining
We will be better & less grumpy parents
I promise, we might even be entertaining.
And even though some days are hard as fuck
And we want to toss you out the door
We love you both more than you can ever know
Our lives were empty without you, before.
My kids, I hope you both grow up to be
The very best of friends
And I hope the way you love each other now
Will never, ever end.
We can’t believe that you both are ours
And hopefully one day there will be another one
To add to our crazy family of love
I can just imagine all our future fun.
So thank you for being our crazy kids
The keepers of our hearts
Our littlest loves for all of time
The King and Queen of the rotten farts.
Do you have a verse that you would like to add to this about your own family and crazy kids?
Please leave a comment below as I would love to hear your spin on things! xxx