Do you ever have those days? You know the ones that I am talking about.
The ones where you have kids, but where you are exhausted down to your very core BEFORE you even open your eyes in the morning?

They are the same ones where you wake up absolutely POSITIVE that you won’t be able to get through the day unless you stuff yourself with 4 billion coffee’s before you even scramble out of bed.

Yes. Those ones.

Well, I definitely know those days. Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy do I ever.

Because I had one of those days myself today. Sigh. Yep, and the reason I am having one of “those days” today is because I actually had one of those nights last night. Say whaaaaat?!

It was the kind of night that you dread when you first consider having more than one sleep stealing baby (or two in our case). It was a night when both the kids … woke up. Dun, Dun, Duuuuuuuun!

So… Picture this….

It was a dark and stormy night. Ok, so it actually wasn’t, but let’s not let truth get in the way of a good story…

At first, I thought I was dreaming. Actually, scrap that, I WAS dreaming. I was dreaming that my hairy husband and I were sitting on the beach, eating nacho’s, having a hilarious conversation with Ryan Reynolds about parenting. Who had no top on. I don’t know why we were eating nacho’s, but that just tells you about my state of mind right now. #IAmAlwaysThinkingAboutFoodOhAndRyanReynoldsWhatCanISay

Ry-Ry was JUST about to say something both incredibly profound and incredibly hilarious, when a teeny tiny sob pierced my subconscious, wrenching me awake.

My eyes flew open. It was my son. I could tell because of the way the handle on our bedroom door was repeatedly being turning wildly (it was locked), and the knowledge that the sweet girl babe can’t walk to our bedroom door just yet.

So, it was most definitely him.

Yes, he had gotten out of bed and wandered to our bedroom door, wanting to chat about all things bum related, which you can understand is not something I felt like doing at 2:30am.

So, do you know what I did? Hell, I am not ashamed to admit it…

I PRETENDED TO BE ASLEEP. Yes, I actually did that.

Sorry My Boy. Right Now, I Just Can’t Even

**Although, if my husband is reading this, then I am TOTALLY kidding my darling man, I was being held hostage in the deepest of slumbers and didn’t hear it (except for the fact that I really wasn’t, and did lol).**

Yes sir, I fake snored and fake heavy breathed until I heard my long suffering husband slowly wake up  and heave a sigh of disappointment (because it was my night to be “on call”, not his). He hauled himself out of bed, giving me a good kick in the bum in the meantime, opened the door, picked up the wee man (before he had a chance to announce to the house what his bum had been up to since we saw him last), and carried him back to bed.

I lay there, listened to their whispered conversation as they moved away from our bedroom, and … well… smiled. I knew I was being a total jerk in not getting up, but I was so tired that it felt right that it was my husbands turn.

Sorry Husband, Tonight I Just Can’t Even

While he was gone, I tossed and turned for a bit. It was potentially the guilt of pretending to be asleep when I should have gotten up, that prevented me from actually going back to sleep however eventually I drifted off to sleep again.

And then another teeny tiny wail echoed through my dreams.

This time, it was the baby.

Oh, the babe. Bloody hell. I couldn’t pretend to be asleep again, could I? No, guess not.

So I dragged my sorry, half-asleep self out of bed, threw on a jumper and the warmest pair of socks that I could find, and I shuffled to her bedroom trying to pry open my eyes to wake myself up along the way.

As soon as the door opened, she turned on the biggest sunbeam of a smile, and let out the sweetest of giggles. “Oh hey there mumma! What are YOU doing here?!”, her surprised and delighted smile seemed to ask.

I sighed at how utterly awake she was (cough, and at how awake I still WASN’T), though at the same time I marvelled at her instant baby joy. It was four freaking thirty am. Who feels any kind of joy at that time? She does, obv’s.

I shuffled over to the cot, and picked her up, and got a punch in the face for my efforts. #SOML

I sat in our feeding chair with her, while she decided (in her native tongue of baby gibberish) to regale me with tales about how much milk she drank that day, or how many times she had exploded out of her nappy with poop. Spoiler: It was a lot. Or… at least, that is what I assumed she said, because she still can’t really talk all that well yet.

Oh Sweet Baby. Right now, I Just Can’t Even.

I held her in my arms, shushing her sweet babbling, and holding her wild whacky hand in my own hands, until she decided she had gotten her point across and whilst smiling sweetly promptly fell asleep again.


I put her back to bed and snuck back to our bedroom. I settled into the cost bed and sighed the longest and most luxurious of sighs. And then…. she woke up again. Fark. Apparently she hadn’t finished her story.

I stumbled back and forth between her room and ours another TWO times before she finally got to the end of the story, and stayed asleep. #ThankTheFrikkinFrick . But then wouldn’t you know it, I couldn’t sleep.

I lay there pondering the meaning of life, and daydreaming about what a full nights sleep feels like right up until the alarm went off a few hours later to begin the day.

And that is where we are now. The day has begun and I am sitting here while propping eyes open, and seriously considering hooking myself up to a coffee drip just to find the ability to make the kids a piece of toast. #DearGawdPleaseDontAskMeForAnOmletteCozIJustCantToday

Sorry Kids, Nope. I Just Can’t Even

But the thing to remember is that even though I am so tired that I can’t function right now, that it was just one night. It may have been the first when they both woke up, but bloody hell it won’t be the last. One day (in a few years mind you), we will hopefully have a third child in the house who will need us in the middle of the night as well. #YesWeAreCompletelyCrazy

And what’s even crazier than that, is that soon enough they will not need us at all… And that is something I am JUST not ready to think about yet. #Attached

So for now, I am going to enjoy those midnight wake ups, the cuddles, and I will try not to complain. Though I can’t promise that I WON’T pretend to be asleep again because I have a wonderful hands on husband, coz that would have been EPIC if Karma didn’t come back to get me…

Because in the end, coffee fixes all problems, and I know that I will love those kids for as long as they let me regardless of how many times they wake me up between the two of them. I can sleep when I am dead right??!! Yup?! Good.


Have you had a night like this recently? Tell me all about it, I would love to hear how you deal with midnight wakeups! xxx