You know whats bloody annoying? When you try and “punish” a child for being a total turdburger #HeIsThreeSoItHappensFrequently, and it stops working. Like, it no longer words at all EVEN though it used to work like a treat. Fark.

I don’t know why it is, but lordy oh lordy does it shit me lol.

So you may very well know that our darling first born boy-child was a complete angel for … about three quarters of his life. He did what he was told whilst shooting sweetness and love all over the place. It was bliss. It was what I had dreamed that parenthood would be #OrMaybeMyMemoryHasFadedATouch?

Oh the hilarity of it all. *Giggle*.

Back then, I thought I knew what tantrums were. I truly did. My son and thrown a few little tantrums over time but never anything so horrid that it made you want to run red raced and crying out of a doctors surgery because your own sweet flesh and blood had just punched you in the face in front of the whole waiting room, while the onlookers just “tsked” and muttered about how their kid would never have done anything like that. #WellActuallyJanetTheyFuckingDidStopPretendingOtherwiseYouJudgyMole.

But overall he was still a sweet little treasure. A lovely little person who was only JUST starting to make us shit our pants a little over those hints of what was to come…

However over the last 8 months or so, our sweet boy has taken his regular and “cute” kind of tantrum’s and has kicked them up at least 4 billion notches… In fact, I didn’t know that this epic level of tanty’s was even possible, but world shaking-tantrums or dramatic AF howling tears, seems to be driving his very existence now. Sigh. Lucky I still love him in absurd amounts. #Obsessed

Look, it’s not really his fault I suppose. He is still only three, so he can’t actually help it. His mental development at this age is INSANELY HUGE and he hasn’t yet learned how to control those massively wild emotions… I totally get that! I know that it is harder on him than it is on us… I just…I just wish he didn’t have to stop, drop and scream bloody murder in the most public of places where people love to stare. And I wish he didn’t feel so much anger at being told to put his pants on that the only way he could release that emotion was to punch me in the boob. Nope, no thanks.

However there is light at the end of the tunnel. I think. Because we know it is just a current jerk-hole phase, and that it will end once he grows just a little bit older. … Oh my god, unless it NEVER actually ends… #ExcuseMeIJustNeedToGoAndCryInTheCornerForASmallPortionOfEternity .

Look, in all honesty, the tantrums aren’t really THAT bad. They are probably more ridiculous than anything else and a lot of the time they REALLY make me laugh, which probably doesn’t help the situation AT ALL… But they aren’t that bad. They really aren’t. And we can usually deal pretty well with them.

But what REALLY shits me is when he ignores me after I have asked him to do something to help me at least four THOUSAND times before refusing to do it altogether… That fills my rage cup right on up to the top. And it drives me a wee bit B.A.N.A.N.A.S.

Because when he is being a particularly turd-ish turdburger and isn’t listening to what we say AT ALL, we use the threat of taking away some particular toys from his favourite toy collection so he can’t play with them for a designated amount of time. Bribing the shit out of him, I call this process.

But “Things” just don’t seem to matter to him (or kids in general), like they do to adults. Because even the removal of things that he truly LOVES – like his freaking Hot Wheels track (which has been relocated to under the stairs for a week more times than I can count), aren’t enough to really “count”.

Na-uh. Nope. He cries as dramatically AF for at LEAST 5 minutes, but 5 minutes after THAT he honestly couldn’t care less and has already moved on to another toy in the toy room. Sometimes I think that if we took all of his toys away, he would still find something to play with. Like, an empty toilet roll (or the toilet itself, WTAF), or his baby sister… and we cant really take HER away now can we? Nope again.

And I guess it is because he doesn’t value money (pardon the pun) the way that we do. Or appreciate the work involved to go out as part of the terrifying Christmas shopping period where people will genuinely shiv you in the guts with a pen to get their dirty little hands on that same Hot Wheels Track that is now sitting prettily in the toy room.

He doesn’t EVEN KNOW the effort we went to, to buy that thing, to lug its giant-ness to the car and then inside and up the stairs, and then to WRAP AND HIDE IT WITHOUT HIM EVER EVEN NOTICING!!! The kid has NO IDEA and NO CARES about it at all!

But we do. Sigh and sigh again.

Gosh, I remember when life used to be simple. When he did whatever we asked him to do willingly and helpfully. He never said no. I have the best (probably made up) memories of that time (because the actual true memory of it would make my brain actually spontaneously combust). Yes, it was a really sweet, and happy time lol.

And then… one day … he annoyingly grew up a bit more and realised that he was his own person with his own wants and voice. Damn that realisation. Damn him realising that he could say no if he didn’t want to do something. #Jokes

But you know what *talks in the general direction of my sons bedroom while he is fast asleep I hope*? Sometimes you have to do shit that you don’t want to do. Like listening to your mumma. Because she knows best. And even if she doesn’t know best, she knows at least 35 years worth of information MORE than you do, tiny tyrant who I love so much.

So we are going to keep at it. We are going to keep asking for him to help out, no matter if the outcome means that we have to feel the full blast of a mini tornado roar dripping tears and sadness through our house before bedtime.

Because the tantrums themselves aren’t important. But what his little man brain is learning, and letting in to make a habit each day, is.

And you know what? He IS still learning constantly. He is becoming his own little person. And that little person IS actually a freaking (if not completely frustrating at times) LEGEND. He IS kind and caring, just like we hoped for.

Now… just to get him to clean up his own shit from the floor, to make him complete… Wish me luck. x


Does your kid value “things” more than mine? Can you use the threat of “favourite toy removal” as a true and effective punishment? Otherwise what tips and tricks do you have to get your little one to help out now and then? Leave me a comment below and tell me all about it xxx