Oh my gawd. The baby has only been earthside for a mere three months, and it already feels like the she is a teenager wanting to borrow my car keys and go on bloody dates using my credit card. What the frickin frick! Cough. (more…)
Two Months in. Who even am I? Who are you? What’s happening? Life with a baby … Fark me, its exhaustingly glorious. And call me crazy (hello crazy!), but babies are WAAAAYYYYY easier than living with a toddler tyrant. #JokesTheToddlerTyrantIsActuallyCoolMostOfTheTimeSortOfKindOfSometimes (more…)
Holy crapoly. She is here. She is here. My second tiny human is here! What the heck am I supposed to do with such a tiny baby again? Can someone please tell me? … And … Why is there a bunch of fuzz floating around where memories of the first few weeks of my FIRST tiny human’s life should be??!! Was I asleep …like…the entire time? Probably. WTF. (more…)
Oh my tired Toddler May you rest today in peace And please don’t wee the bed my love I can’t be arsed changing your sheets. (more…)
Oh Em Gee. Babies, huh?! God DAMN they are gorgeous and hilarious. Yes they are, but they can also be the craziest of time stealers. And when I say that babies are time stealers, I mean that they LITERALLY MAKE TIME DISAPPEAR for their parents without anyone ever noticing! I am not even kidding. I swear to god, I am so busy with the baby every day (and the toddler for that matter), that I get up in the morning, think about the long day ahead, FUCKING blink and all of a sudden it’s bed time.AND FOR THE FREAKING LIFE OF MY I HAVE GOTTEN NOTHING DONE ALL DAY. Although…hooray for bedtime! Woo! Let me explain this phenomenon further. (more…)
You know what?? I’m just gonna come out and say it. Motherhood is fucking hard sometimes. Let me explain. (more…)
There is something that happens to a toddler when a newborn sibling enters the world. Something extraordinary. Something astounding. Something semi horrific. The toddler that was once sweet and loving and gorgeous turns unexpectedly into something … different… And let me tell you, that something is…at least 45% monster. Sigh. (more…)
Ever wonder what goes through the mind of a super bald teeny tiny baby? I know I sure do. Instead of coming out of my hoo-ha speaking English as any good baby should, she babbles, squeals, snorts and squirms in my arms, and I have absolutely NO idea what she is talking about. Sigh. (more…)
There are things that really shocked me since becoming a parent. Silly things. Unexpected things. Things I never could have prepared for, or guessed. (more…)
Oh god. It’s that time. It’s probably been that time for a while but I have been totally avoiding it. Yes sir, it’s time to start Toilet Training. Bloody Hell, give me strength. (more…)
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