Right people… Hands up who has a toddler!! *Throws both hands up into the air and shakes them about wildly* And hands up who sometimes thinks that toddlers were ONLY put on this earth to test the absolute frick out of you?!! *Throws hands up in the air SO HARD this time that I fear my arms may disconnect themselves from my actual body* Well, let me tell you a story or two. About the times when the toddler tried to absolutely break me. (more…)
You know what is weird about parenthood? Ok, so once you have kids many, many, MANY things are weird, like what you find under your fingernails in the dead of night. Or whether you should scrub your tongue hysterically … or just swallow … after a baby milk spews in your mouth. #EwNoThanks But those aren’t the weird things that I am talking about. (more…)
Oh my beautiful baby girl. When I found out I was pregnant with you, I was excited beyond measure. I imagined who you would be. What you would look like. Who you would grow into. I didn’t know if you were a boy or girl, but I assumed you would be a boy. I don’t know why. So the day we found out that you WERE a girl brought with it a mixture of both excitement and apprehension. Want to read about my pregnancy? Well, check out my Diary of A Crazy Pregnant Lady here. Firstly, I was so excited about what lay ahead. I could picture our future together. The things we would do. The things we could share. One day you will have your own family, your own babies. And I will be there for you, not so much by your side, but to help you whenever and however you need me. Yes, I could see it all the second I knew you would be my sweet baby girl. But I was nervous. Because I knew that life may be harder for you than it would be if you were a boy. That more will be expected of ...
What has happened to my baby? I don’t know where she has gone, but when I went to get her up a few mornings ago I found a little almost toddler type person in her place. One who was howling in rage because her brother is in her cot with her and trying to give her a kiss. A kiss? Who hates kisses? Sigh. #MummaNeedsAffection (more…)
People, people, people. Sighs *shakes head*. I am SHOCKED over here, and I honestly think that my brain is starting to go numb from all of these thoughts about parenthood. Oh, wait… the numbness could just be because I don’t sleep any more due to a toddler who desperately tries to move himself into our bedroom at least 4000 times a night. Yes, but what are you shocked about? You ask. Well, let me tell you, I creepily reply, whilst sitting on the toilet with another tiny person on my lap who has their whole body essentially wrapped around mine. #NoPrivacyEver (more…)
You know whats bloody annoying? When you try and “punish” a child for being a total turdburger #HeIsThreeSoItHappensFrequently, and it stops working. Like, it no longer words at all EVEN though it used to work like a treat. Fark. (more…)
So, maternity leave…. It’s a glorious and magical time filled with luxurious days where working is not remotely a thing, shopping trips are potentially endless, pampering is at an all time high, and high-end coffee dates seriously ARE a thing… I mean, isn’t that right? No?! Pfffft, yeah right, I wish. (more…)
There are so many things that make me laugh hysterically in this life. You know, like people falling over. Epic dog fails. And just about anything and everything to do with kids. Kids, whether they mean it or not are so innocently and so hilariously funny. They fall over a lot, get easily scared a heck of a lot, and they ask the most curious questions, COMPLETELY without a filter which gets me Every. Single. Damn. Time. (more…)
Well. Toddlers, hey? They say that the hardest part of parenting is at the start, when you know absolutely NOTHING and are thrown into the deep end regardless. When you are left to flounder about aimlessly with no idea how to cope with this major change in your world that has arrived LITERALLY without warning. #WellExceptForTheWarningThatThePreviousNineMonthsMayHaveGivenYou (more…)
Our cheeky girl babe or, as the toddler likes to call her – “Miss Poo Poo Bum Bum”, is ten and a half months old now. Can you believe it? I cannot. I mean, I lived it, but I cannot actually believe any of it. My oh my how time flies when you are exhausted and chasing a crawling baby and a very fast mini person all over the house. (more…)
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