Prelude: This is the second instalment in my Diary Of My Miscarriage Series.
This series was going to be the “Diary Of My Pregnancy” however, as we know, things don’t always turn out how we hope, do they?
I began this series before we knew our baby was lost, and they represent so much joy and hope for 0ur family.
These instalments from when I was still pregnant are as important to me as the miscarriage itself, and as such, I feel compelled to share them with you. Thank you for reading them x
Did you read the first instalment of this ‘Diary Of My Miscarriage Series?
If not, you can read it here.
I actually can’t believe that we are here again. Pregnant, I mean.
Ok, that’s a lie, I totally can. And I am bloody thrilled about it.
If you read my last instalment, you would know that we had hoped for another baby… nay, LONGED for another one… and now it’s actually FREAKING HAPPENING! I may actually wee myself in excitement.
I’m starting to feel all of these beautiful sensations that I’d forgotten about from my first two pregnancies, and yet that is so familiar at the same time.
I’m feeling a slight ache low down in my tummy, a heaviness and I’m also feeling a slight stretching sensation, which is funny because I haven’t changed shape in any way as yet.
I’m still getting the occasional flickers of nausea, but in truth, they are mostly gone already – thank bloody gawd for that! I’m feeling so lucky because (embarrassingly) I am TERRIFIED of vomiting, the way that some people are terrified of spiders… So let’s hope these flickers stay away completely so I can rest easy. And not worry about spewing on the side of the road mid-COVID.
We finally have a doctors appointment booked and it feels kind of strange.
In fact, I don’t even want to go, because we are still smack-bang in the middle of a Global Pandemic over here. Yup, we are still living “La Vida Lockdown” 2.0 here in Melbourne, so I don’t wanna go anywhere near a doctor surgery if I can possibly help it. BUT, I have to. I can’t put it off any longer. Well, I could, but I won’t.
I want to see this little human inside me too much to wait any longer.
Speaking of not waiting any longer, we told our family about the baby this week.
Naturally, no-one was surprised. Most people were excited… though my father-in-law looked more terrified about having to wrangle another grandchild than anything else. Lol. You’re welcome, buddy.
I’ve gotten myself some salty biscuits to help with those little flickers of nausea that I mentioned last week. They still (thankfully) don’t bother me too much, but I don’t want to take my chances of bringing on a spew-fest just because I needed a snack – so a packet of those babies is on me at all times. Because no-one wants to spew in the middle of the pasta aisle at Coles if they can help it, am I right?! Spoiler: Yes, yes I am right. Lol.
I can’t wait to get to twelve weeks so I can tell everybody that we are pregnant!
We had some friends drop something off at our front door last night.
They were wearing their masks, and we were socially distancing of course, but they were joking about us having babies, and my husband almost gave us away. He has the most expressive face you have ever seen, and as soon as they mentioned the word babies his eyes opened up so wide that they almost popped right out of his head. It was so glaringly obvious that we were pregnant, but some-bloody-how I think we managed to get away with it… For now anyway. I hope.
By the time this lockdown is finally over, we will be around 12 weeks pregnant. So that’s TOTALLY brilliant and gives us the best cover story because people will just HAVE to take our word that we are drinking actual alcohol instead of growing a baby. No, Janet, I’m NOT drinking water, it’s Vodka… Yes, well I’d offer you a sip to prove it but you are totally outside of my 5km radius, so… too bad.
I’ve been reading a lot about how COVID-19 has been impacting Melbourne, especially at the hospitals. And it has kind of been freaking me out a little…
The new rules say that the partner of the birthing woman can stay for as long as they want after the birth but once they go home they can only come back to visit once a day for two hours at a time.
And whilst I understand, I’m also feeling so torn.
I mean, I want myself and my baby to be safe, as well as everyone else in the hospital… But at the same time, it’s such a vital time for new mums and those early days is when they really need the support of their partner or family. They are exhausted, vulnerable and on a rollercoaster of emotion, and they need family and friends around at that time to get them through.
So, I am nervous about what it will be like… Google tells me that the baby will be due around the 15th of March so hopefully the restrictions will have eased by then… Fingers crossed anyway. Because I can’t imagine doing all of that alone…
But, back to more positive things…
The kids have been so sweet and beautiful with the baby so far, and I think that they’ve really started to understand this week that there is a tiny person actually growing inside my belly.
Our son keeps whispering “hello baby, what’s your name sweet baby?” and his cuteness has been making my heart melt. In fact, both kids have started making me open my mouth so they can shout messages down to it. Our daughter has decided that she would like to call the baby “Bruno”, and she shouts so the baby can hear how she will help take care of it.
Both of my kids love babies so much, and I know they will make the best brother and sister to it.
This is going to be one loved and lucky baby…
And I just can’t wait to meet them already xx
Stay tuned for the next instalment of this Diary of A Miscarriage Series…