Week Four of my Fitness Journey is done and dusted.

Which means, uh oh, coz there are only eight weeks to go now till judgement day.

The three weeks that have passed so far have been relatively uneventful in terms of results. I do feel a thousand times better and things do seem to be jiggling slightly less each day, but there is still too much body pudding for my liking. Or the liking of any other human with a set of working eyes to be honest.

Missed the previous weeks posts? Read about them here: Week one, Week two, Week three.

However, I kicked off the new week as I kick off all of my weeks… by being rudely wrenched awake by an alarm. Holy hell, what is that?! Its too early for this!! And then I remembered…. It was New Years Day, hooray! And since it was a public holiday (double hooray) it meant that my husband was home from work. Woo! Morning off from parenting!

And, since my New Years Eve consisted of a quiet drink or two on the couch with my husband and going to sleep at a respectable time, it made it relatively easy to haul myself out of bed that morning and creak my way to the gym for a workout.

I only had time for a 50 minute workout so went through a cardio program to exhaust myself and sweat like a tap that is so broken that you might as well just move homes rather than fix it.

I succeeded in both of those things. The exhausting and the sweating.

And I used the time to consider my options and really think about what I could do to step it up and get that supermodel physique that I was (very unrealistically) hoping for. I decided that I needed to step it up a notch. I needed to go all in or get out.

Whilst getting out sounded very appealing, I decided to go all in. Somehow.

I knew that I needed to move this ass harder and eat a thousand times better so that those bits on my body that wobble like a bowl of jelly long after I stop moving, would finally melt off revealing what I am sure is a supermodel physique below. Totally sure. Bet you there are abs down there. Somewhere. Maybe. Under some other stuff.

Yes, something drastic was needed. And yes, I really needed some help.

So, I signed myself up to the Sally Matterson 6 Week Extreme Shredder program. I had been fluffingly following her on Instagram, watching the odd video here and there thinking I should do that, but then doing absolutely nothing about it. Though I must confess that being the tight arse that I am, I had actually signed up due to in large part the program being advertised through Living Social for a ridiculous price. It was a glorious price. And I am a glorious tight arse. Blame my husband. He made me that way.

But I signed up. I took the cheap (very cheap) plunge and signed up. Then to celebrate, I went shopping and bought myself some more weights so I could do some of the days of my super new program at home. Almost broke the pram trying to get them to the car because they were so heavy. #yeahright #iwish

And in the meantime, it had clicked over to Wednesday. I went to the gym and worked on my arms and shoulders. Whilst there I saw a group of “youths” working through an exercise so incorrectly that it made me feel like a bloody weight lifting genius with the technique of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

These kids worked through their sets with such painfully incorrect posture and incredibly loud discussion that it caused me to do what I never thought that I would be the type of person to do. I picked up my sweat soaked towel, my water and my phone and moved a few benches away. And then I turned my music up to ignore the ridiculousness that was happening to my right.

I completed the rest of my workout in a haze of overwhelming guilt, hoping that the kids hadn’t injured themselves because I had moved away instead of saying something. I checked on them before I left and luckily they hadn’t injured anything. Which made me feel guilty again because the fact that they hadn’t actually injured anything really had shocked me.

Then after two more days of completely avoiding actually starting the program that I had purchased, I finally found the courage to start it on Saturday. This was the day that I was going to really start changing my life. I knew it.

Now according to the trainer, Sally, Day One of the program was to be filled with exhausting sounding Back and Quad exercises and then followed up with an aerobic torture test. Great, I thought. Torture sounds like just what I need. I’m so glad I signed up. Yes, I will be that Victoria’s Secret model before I know it. 

I ripped my top off ready to watch my abs pop and got stuck into it.

My husband watched me for a bit from his prone position on the couch, but after good five minutes of me huffing, puffing and sweating like I had just stepped out from in front of a fire hose on full blast, he presumably grew bored and fell asleep. Such support I see.

Yet, I dragged my wobbly belly through those exercises like an old lady chasing the fountain of eternal youth (oh wait, that old lady is…well… me these days). I “Backed and Quad’d” like I would never get a chance to use those muscles again, and by the end of it I was absolutely knackered. I had sweated so much that I am sure there was barely any sweat left in my body. I felt skinnier already. And to celebrate my hard work, all I wanted to do was face plant into the couch so hard that I may never come up for air.

But that wasn’t possible. I had shit to do. I had my brother in laws birthday to celebrate. So instead I hosed off pools of sweat in the shower and proceeded to get dolled up for a night of eating and drinking. Hmmm, see you later hard work.

On Sunday I got up early and went to the gym again to do my Extreme Shredder workout there. This was day two, so it called for a new program concentrating on shoulders and hamstrings. It was exhausting. It was awesome. And luckily the gym was fairly empty so no-one could actually see how lightly I was lifting, and snigger at me from behind a mammoth set of weights. Or from behind some machine that I have never seen before and will never use, but will probably mispronounce the name of for the rest of my gym life.

Once that session was over again, I realised that AGAIN I felt stronger and fitter. Whilst at the same time feeling completely knackered just like Saturday.

So I went home and fell directly into bed, sleeping for three hours until I realised I should actually get up and be a parent. Sigh. Thats life right??

I wonder what next week will hold?

 

 

Are you currently completing your own fitness journey? Tell me about how you are going below as I would love to hear from you!!

Studies from the University of mummalifelovebaby (MLLBU) show that people who subscribe to the mummalifelovebaby website are more hilarious and attractive than most other people. Since you don’t want to be either weird looking or as boring as a blade of grass, then you had better sign up now!  xxxxx